Things to think about
This content applies to England only.
Housing laws vary between England and Scotland. Get advice relating to Scotland
This page will help you think about some of the decisions you'll have to make when you split up with a partner. These might include where you're going to live, whether to divorce or dissolve a civil partnership, and financial issues.
What are my options?
When you first split up from a partner, your options are likely to be:
- staying in the home while your partner moves out
- your partner stays in the house, and you move out
- you both leave and get new places
- you carry on living together in the same house, but as separate households (ie not as a couple).
It may be that in the short-term you need to leave your home, but would like to return to it later. Or you may want to stay in the home for the time being, but move out when you've decided where to go.
The options you choose depend on whether you have children, your financial situation, if there's anywhere else you could live, and the legal rights you have to your home. Longer-term plans will depend on whether you rent or own your home.
How to decide who should stay in the family home
The question of who stays in the family home depends on whether it's affordable and your personal circumstances, for example:
- whether you are married or in a civil partnership
- whether you have children
- what other housing options might be available.
If possible, discussing these issues with your partner and coming to a mutual agreement can avoid a long and costly legal process. If you need help to discuss your options, mediation and/or counselling can provide a neutral third party to help you see the other person's point of view.
Pros and cons
There are advantages and disadvantages to staying on in the home if your partner moves out. On the plus side, you won't have to undergo the upheaval of moving home - which could be away from your work, family and friends, and schools if you have children. Without your partner, however, the home could be too large and/or expensive for you to run on your own. It may also be harder to make a fresh start if you are still living in the home you shared together.
Sharing the home
Through discussion, mediation and negotiation with your partner, or by going to court, it might be possible for you to share the home, either on a short or long-term basis. This could mean that one person stays in the home and the other has access to it, or that you both live in different parts of the home.
Get advice
Even though you may need to make a decision quickly, it's important to check your legal position carefully. If you want to keep on living in your home, either now or later, you will need to protect any rights you may have to it. The person whose name is on the tenancy agreement, or who owns the home, doesn't necessarily have to be the person who stays there.
In the longer-term, you may be able to get ownership of the home or the tenancy transferred into your name, depending on your circumstances.
What about financial issues?
Whether you stay/or move out of your home, you will have to think about how you're going to pay for your rent or mortgage. Depending on your circumstances, you may be able to claim maintenance payments from your ex-partner.
I rent my home
If you're a joint tenant in your current home, both of you will be equally liable for paying the rent. It's important you make sure the full amount is still being paid, otherwise you may get evicted, which could make it difficult for you to get a new place. If you are unemployed or on a low income you might be entitled to housing benefit to help pay the rent.
If you're a joint tenant and you want to stay in the home, you should make sure the other joint tenant doesn't end the tenancy by giving notice to the landlord.
If you're not a joint or sole tenant, you may want to establish the right to make rent payments towards the home. This would help protect your interest in the home.
Our home is owner-occupied
If you're a joint or sole owner (and in even in some cases, where your name is not on the mortgage) and are claiming income support or income-based jobseekers allowance, you may be entitled to Support for mortgage interest (SMI) payments.
SMI payments
The amount of mortgage interest paid via SMI is worked out on the basis of an interest rate set by the Government. If you are eligible for SMI the interest on loans of up to £200,000 will be paid for up to 2 years. If you are eligible, you will need to wait for 13 weeks until SMI becomes payable, so you will need to keep up your payments until then.
If you don't keep up payments, there is a risk that your lender will take action to repossess your home. In the meantime if you are not able to afford to pay your mortgage, you should speak to your lender to discuss your situation.
Negotiating with your lender
If you think you are getting into financial difficulties, speak to an adviser as soon as you can. Contact the National Debtline, or if you want to speak to someone in person, use our Advice Services Directory to find an advice centre near you.
Change your mortgage
Your lender may also be prepared to convert an existing 'repayment' mortgage to an 'interest-only' type if it would then be affordable with SMI payments. Lenders are more prepared to negotiate if you have equity in your home (eg the value of your home, minus any loans you have on it).
Will I need a solicitor?
You may need a solicitor to help you sort out your home and money issues, particularly if you are planning to:
- divorce,
- separate from, or
- split up with your partner, or
- dissolve your registered civil partnership
Mediation can help in these circumstances by providing a neutral third party to help you and your partner make decisions. This is likely to be cheaper than a solicitor, however, it is usually a good idea to get some legal advice from a solicitor even if you decide to go for mediation.
If you decide to see a solicitor, you may only need to see them once, but it's best to find out where you stand. You will need a family law solicitor, which you can find using this Legal Adviser Finder or through specialist organisations such as the Law Society, Resolution or Relate.
Fees
Solicitors' charges are based on their hourly rates and how much time they spend on your case. Get an estimate before you start, but be aware that fees may go up as your case progresses. If you instigated the divorce, you may also be liable for any costs. You might be able to get help paying costs – you can use this legal aid calculator to see if you're eligible.
Divorcing, dissolving your registered civil partnership or splitting up
If you are married or in a registered civil partnership, you might want to legally end your relationship if it has permanently broken down. Getting divorced or dissolving your registered civil partnership can take six to eight months from the time that you apply. However, at the same time you apply, you can also ask the court to make orders to do with money and the home. The kind of orders the court can make include:
- regular maintenance payments
- lump sum payments
- property adjustment orders (if you and/or your partner are home owners)
- tenancy transfers (if you and/or your partner are tenants)
- pension adjustments.
If you choose not to legally end your relationship, living apart is enough to class you as separated for tax and benefit purposes.
Even if you live together, you can be classed as separated. It is a good idea in these circumstances to get something called a 'deed of separation' to record any practical and financial agreements – you will probably need a solicitor or an adviser to draw one up.
If you're not married or in a registered civil partnership, the courts have fewer powers to make orders about what happens to the home. You will have to rely on what has been agreed in the past and contributions you have both made.
What if we have children?
The courts expect you and your partner to agree on where your children will live and how you will arrange to see them. If you can't decide on these issues, then the courts may decide them for you. Their decision will be based on what's best for the children. Mediation is often useful in this situation.
Finding a new place to live
If you decide to move out, you will need to find a new place to live. If possible, try to find somewhere before you move out. The pages on finding a place to live can help you work out your options, or download 
the Shelter guide to Finding a place to live.
If you end up with nowhere to stay, you can make a homeless application to the council. Depending on your circumstances, your council may have a duty to house you. Use our free online assessment to find out more. If you have children, the council will be under a duty to provide you with somewhere to stay.
Rights to stay in the home
You can only stay in the home if you have a legal right to do so. Your rights depend on: whether you have children, your relationship status, if you are a joint or sole tenant, or owner, and whether you can enforce any rights you might have through the court. Even non-owning partners may be given the right to live in the home by the courts.
