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Domestic abuse and housing series: ‘So... she escaped’

Published date: 4 October 2024

View of a building out of a window from a dark interior.

Isabella Burton

Assistant Digital Campaigner

Intersectionality, housing and domestic abuse

Amira*, who escaped domestic abuse and was supported by Shelter, shares her story with us. In this post, she recounts her experiences in her own words.  

Anyone, regardless of their background, can experience domestic abuse. However, statistics shared by Refuge suggest that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. They also show that most domestic abuse is carried out by men and experienced by women.  

This is because there are cultural, institutional and systemic inequalities like misogyny, racism, homophobia and transphobia that put certain groups at greater risk of experiencing domestic abuse – for instance, LGBTQ+ people and women. Research from Stonewall shows that, overall, more than one in ten LGBTQ+ people (11%) have faced domestic abuse from a partner in the last year. This includes 13% of bisexual women and 10% of lesbians. This increases to 17% of Black, Asian and minority ethnic LGBTQ+ people and a quarter of British transgender people (28%) in a relationship in the last year have faced domestic abuse from a partner. 

Inequalities and barriers to support 

But on top of this, Black women and LGBTQ+ people can struggle to access services or face additional barriers when trying to access support and help.

Black women were 14% less likely to be referred to Refuge for support by the police than white women, despite being slightly more likely than white women to have reported their experience of abuse to the police. And when they do, almost half (48%) of Black and ethnic minority women reporting domestic abuse felt that the police treated them differently to other people because of their ethnic background or heritage. And over half (59%) of LGBTQ+ young people have faced some form of discrimination or harassment while accessing services.  Although research suggests minoritised groups are disproportionately affected by domestic abuse, there is still a lack of specialist research into Black and Asian women's experiences, and existing research can be hard to find. 

'You're alone with your kids and you start from the bottom'

'I went through severe domestic violence. I have three children, and I had to leave my home and my city to move to somewhere completely new. People ask women, "why do you stay? Why do you go back?" But what they don’t understand is, I had nothing when I escaped. Just the clothes I was wearing. I got a cab to the train station and that was it. You’re alone with kids and you start from the bottom.

'When a woman flees a domestic violence – it’s sad, the only help you get it to fill out your housing benefit application and dump you at the refuge. You just have to go. It's like you change your identity, turn off your phone and you’re gone. There is no support. Why did I have to do everything myself? And as Black women, we hide a lot because we’re told to hide a lot – we’re not allowed to share, because we are told to shut our mouths. My daughter has health problems and [lives in] temporary housing, but still, she has no support either.'

Amira 

These inequalities are reflected in housing and make minoritised groups particularly vulnerable when experiencing domestic abuse. In England, Black people are three times more likely to experience homelessness than white people. LGBTQ+ people are also overrepresented at the sharp end of the housing emergency, comprising 24% of the youth homelessness population. Asian people and lone mothers are among the most likely to experience homelessness as a result of domestic abuse, according to government statistics. 

The need for specialist services 

Many minoritised women can struggle to access services or struggle to access services that understand the intersections of their identity.  

'I drink and there is no service as a Muslim woman that you can go to, that don’t stereotype or judge you. We need services that understand us. Some women stay in that domestic violence, because if they come out of it, what are people going to say? They will judge them. I know another woman - she had nine kids - who didn’t leave until her youngest child was 18.  

'I was part of a really big Muslim community, but I’m not part of a community anymore since I left my husband. Even getting a divorce was hard. Some women they will stay until their children get big. Some women never see their children get big because they die before then.

'When my child went to our new doctor for support with my mental health crises, instead of offering us help, the doctor said, ‘it’s good your mum is a strong woman’. I had to be. I had no choice.’

Amira

A failure to recognise women’s specific and differing needs means women facing housing issues are often meeting multiple professionals to access support, and services are all too frequently failing to resolve women's housing issues, like Amira’s experience.

Shelter’s ‘Fobbed Off’ report, examines barriers preventing women from accessing housing and homelessness support. This report outlines the priorities for delivering effective women-centred services with a co-designed women-centred service model. This empowers women to successfully live in safe, suitable homes where they can build a stable life for themselves and their families.

What needs to change

The prevalence and complex nature of domestic abuse set to the tone of a housing emergency is a dangerous combination, particularly for minoritised groups. Along with specialised services that are dedicated to understanding how intersections of our identities interact with our experiences, we need more safe and decent homes to remove barriers from survivors escaping perpetrators.  

England has a dire lack of social rent homes, skyrocketing rents in the private rented sector, and cash-strapped councils going bankrupt trying to house people in temporary accommodation. Without enough social homes, survivors are expected to rent privately, but the household benefit cap makes it extremely difficult to find anywhere affordable, meaning survivors cannot move on from temporary accommodation or refuges to begin rebuilding their lives. 

'I suffer with severe PTSD and anxiety and depression. But I’m still a survivor. I got out. I’ve done well. I went camping for the first time at 55 - and it was amazing. I thought I was going to be scared, but seeing the stars at night was beautiful. I went to Amsterdam a couple of years ago, and I’ve been on holiday with my daughter. I’m doing the things I couldn’t ever do before.’

Amira

Shelter looks to organisations pioneering this work such as Sistah Space, the award-winning community-based charity, created to bridge the gap in domestic abuse services for women of African and Caribbean heritage. Sistah Space is leading this vital work around the intersectionality of domestic abuse services and approaches, while supporting women across the UK, campaigning for mandatory cultural competency training for domestic abuse-related services, through Valerie’s Law.

*Pseudonym used for identity protection

Support and advice 

If you need support or advice relating to this content, you can contact the below specialist helplines and organisations: 

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