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Domestic abuse and housing series: Rebecca's story

Published date: 3 September 2024

A table lamp in the corner of a dimly lit room.

Isabella Burton

Assistant Digital Campaigner

Please note that this contains references to domestic abuse.

A stable foundation

Everyone should have a safe and stable home. And for survivors of domestic abuse, this is particularly important, as home is the foundation that can help rebuild lives.

In the last year, there was a 24% increase in the number of households in homelessness temporary accommodation due to domestic abuse. And 16,180 children were homeless and living in temporary accommodation because of domestic abuse. This is because there is a lack of safe housing options for survivors and their families.

No one should ever be stuck in temporary accommodation because they are fleeing a perpetrator. But without enough safe and affordable homes, this is the reality for many women, individuals and families across the country.

What is needed

Social homes with long-term tenancies and truly affordable rents are the best foundation for survivors and their children to rebuild their lives. But decades of failure to invest in building them means survivors cannot access the homes they need. What’s worse, the household benefit cap makes private renting unaffordable by arbitrarily capping the amount a survivor can receive. This forces families to stay in temporary accommodation or refuges for long periods – or sometimes forces them to stay with their abuser.

The government has made big promises to tackle both housing and violence against women and girls. But without prioritising social rent homes and scrapping the benefit cap, survivors of domestic abuse can’t access the homes or support they need to be safe and to heal.

Anyone can experience domestic abuse. However, structural and systemic inequalities and discrimination mean that minoritised groups such as Black women are more likely to struggle to access the support they need when experiencing domestic abuse. And research has found that people who identify as LGBTQ+ report high levels of experience of domestic abuse. We will be looking at intersectionality and the impact of discrimination, domestic abuse and housing in more detail in a later part of the series.

Rebecca's story

Shelter provides support to survivors of domestic abuse, like Rebecca. With the support of Karen, Shelter’s London adviser, Rebecca and her family moved to better temporary accommodation, and eventually a stable and secure housing association home.

People don't always understand domestic violence

‘Our story is quite complicated. I suffered from domestic violence. My partner was abusive. We had two children. He was financially controlling.

‘It took a long time to escape from that, after about 16 years I was finally free of him. People don’t always understand domestic violence. There were people around me but they didn’t understand, and they supported him. I fought so hard to make the truth known.

A hotel for the night

‘In December 2019 my partner broke the restraining order and sent me a card with his number on. I didn’t know whose number it was and when I realised it was him, I really freaked out. I went to the police station and they moved us out of our home and put us in a hotel for the night.

‘The next day we went to the housing department again. I’d been to the council three or four years before and I’d been trying to get somewhere else to live for all that time. I had an assured tenancy with a housing association and I’d been to them as well and asked for a move to a different borough. But no one had listened and I was still in the home where my ex-partner knew where I was.

There were holes in the doors, there were bugs

‘The council said they couldn’t find me anywhere that same day and asked if we could stay with a friend, which we did. Then they found me a temporary accommodation property. We were told it was the only offer they’d give us.

‘When we went there, there was no heating; I got an electric shock; there were slugs and snails coming out of the sink; every time I cleaned, there were slugs everywhere in the kitchen; there were holes in the doors; there were bugs. The cooker didn’t work – and this was Christmas time. There was mould in the washing machine. We had to take our furniture there, and our mattresses ended up with bed bugs. I was bitten all over. I was so distressed [...] I was having serious panic attacks in there.

‘I called the council, and they sent a housing officer round to see the property. She just said it looked a lot better than how it had done before we moved in. I showed her the bites from the bed bugs, and she just didn’t want to know. The council then sent the head manager of social services, and she agreed we couldn’t live like that, but nothing changed.

Shelter...made a difference

‘I contacted all the local councillors, the MP, but it was only when I contacted Shelter that it made a difference.

‘I called Shelter’s helpline and I told them my story. I told them all the horrendous things me and the kids had been through. Thanks to [Shelter adviser] Karen’s persistence, the council said they’d find us a new temporary place to live.

‘We were moved to another emergency accommodation, but it was really nice. The only problem was that it was privately rented, and I had a tenancy with a housing association. I’d bid for five years to get my home and I was being told I had to give it up and be homeless.

‘Thanks to Karen, and because now the housing association started listening and helping me, we got offered a secure tenancy with the same housing association but in a completely new area.

Without Karen, I wouldn’t be able to be free

‘Without Karen, I wouldn’t be able to be free. We’ve now got this house, and we can keep our tenancy.

‘The kids have got into a really good school and I can start working again. All my friends say they’re going to come and visit, it’s just amazing.

‘I’m so grateful, nobody helped us the way that Shelter helped us. My kids know how much Shelter helped us as well and they’re so grateful as well.’

The government must prioritise making home a safe place for survivors of domestic abuse. And we cannot achieve this without prioritising truly affordable, decent social rent homes and scrapping the household benefit cap to help survivors right now.

Throughout this series, we will be exploring different aspects of domestic abuse and housing, and more detail on the solutions that are possible. Keep up to date with the series by following us on social media.

Support and advice

If you need support or advice relating to this content, you can contact the below specialist helplines and organisations:

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